Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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