When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
