i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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