May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
