i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
