Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
