So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
