I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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