dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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