I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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