I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
