I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize