Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
