hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize