Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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