John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
