she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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