I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
