the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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