3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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