A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize