I looked at my own cervix.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
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