What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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