apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
