Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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