maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize