the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
