i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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