guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
