something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
There r osticjed everywhere
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
