Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
