Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
