Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
