I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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