He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
