Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
