we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
