don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
