yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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