The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize