Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
