yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize