So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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