Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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