So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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