I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
