oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
