Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
