There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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