I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am mentally ready for anal.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
