I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
