Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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