i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize