I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
