whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
