3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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