She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
