What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
