You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
