that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
