brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize